The year 2021, observably, was a rather bleak one; featuring, among other joyless subjects, the Covid pandemic, instances of police brutality, the aftermath of a violent insurrection, voter interference, extreme weather, (presumably, the effect of unaddressed climate warming), the continued rise of White Christian Nationalism, Congressional investigations, inflation, and judicial threats to established abortion rights. In this Holiday Special Writing, we attempt to sort out, from the din, real and fictional anecdotal trinkets (“Gewgaws”) which we hope the reader will find amusing.
*The Hammond Map Corp., in 2021, has announced to its stockholders, the recent development of an entry-level version of an Outer Space, GPS mapping device, to enable billionaires to view their earthly tax shelters during space jaunts.
* Tucker Carlson has testily, insisted that the use of Ivermectin, was, in reality, very successful. He admits that, while those who ingested it did sustain a high rate of Covid infection, he argues that, reportedly, less than .04% of Americans who did so developed horse worms.
* The Sierra Club has found that wearing red MAGA baseball caps, invites painful skull attacks by diving blue jays, and constant jabbing by inquiring hummingbirds.
* Forty-three Republican majority State Legislatures, have passed, in excess of three hundred bills, slanting the vote, in order to prevent the undemocratic effects of slanting the vote.
* The NRA has developed a pink-colored Gatling gun for gifting by sweethearts, next Valentine’s Day.
* Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene resents certain recent comparisons of herself to Machine Gun Molly, of the 1960s, and has angrily stated her preference for comparison to Florence Nightingale, Jane Austin or Eleanor Roosevelt.
* The Board of the Mike Pence Foundation has publically announced its unanimous ruling, that, following the decease of Vice-President Pence, that there be installed an exact wax replica of a smiling Mike Pence in Mme. Tussaud’s Wax Museum, inserted between the statues of Jack The Ripper and Bela Lugosi.
* A request, identical to the previous, item has been made, by the constituents of Sen. Ted Cruz.
* We are not exactly sure, but believe it was the intellectually gifted, Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas, who, prudently suggested, that instead of the expense of the purchase of a fleet of gondolas for the Potomac, it would be cheaper to buy two gondolas, a male and a female, and permit them to mate.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
–p.
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