It does not require the experienced expertise of a medical professional, to reach the (empirical) conclusion, that our current body politic is seriously ailing. The applicable multi- faceted, chronic illness, is reliably reported to have had its etiological start and development, by way of a combination of a determinative number of uninformed and insufficiently literate citizens, tactically misled, by a nefarious strategem of widespread “pie in the sky,” demagogic propaganda. The same was financed by special interest, monied people, who seem to have chosen to prioritize profits above the health and well-being of the nation, and the planet.
Presenting clinical symptoms of this serious pandemic, include, discomfiting reactions to: (a) the dangerous and impusively egocentric acts of an ignorant, incapable, former game show host, elevated to the Oval Office; resulting in an embarrassing (and dangerous) state of affairs, nationally and internationally, (b) efforts by that President, and his selected “Alice in Wonderland” Cabinet, to completely deny the consistent reports of reputable scientists, advising and warning of proven climate change, and the resulting continued deterioration of the planet, (c) his historically unprecedented attack on the moral and utilitarian institution of “truth,”(d) his constant undemocratic disparagement of the responsible media, (e) his employment of draconian, exclusionary policies regarding immigration (in a nation composed, exclusively, of immigrants and their descendants), cruelly and shockingly enforced by the illegal use of armed military; who, in Nazi fashion, have, monstrously, fired tear gas on attempted entrants (largely mothers with young children), (f) by his engagement in what appears to be a sustained treasonous liaison with our historic enemies, while making enemies of our long- term allies (g) by installing [Trump-friendly] arch -reactionary Justices to the Supreme Court, (h) by his publicly promoting and encouraging bigotry (including his defense of white supremacist groups,by active support for known segregationist candidates, by his opposition to the natural, private rights of women to choose an abortion, (i) by his unshamefacedly aberrant behavior including actual sexual abuse, (j) by the denigration and defunding of our nation’s vitally essential, research initiatives and the intellectual community in general, and, (k) most unsuitably, his engaging in a practice of consistent and systemic mendacity, in his shameless derogation of the existential existence of the “truth.”
We have entertained a felt responsibility toward our loyal readers and followers, to responsibly attempt to prescribe natural sources of temporary relief, from the painful discomfort of their predictable personal reaction to these symptomatic events, as recounted. Accordingly, we have prescribed selected ameliorative and analgesic treatments, consisting of the use of sensible and practical healing and restorative substances and balms, as well as, our recommendation of clinically indicated physical activities; in each case, as applicable to, and helpful for, any of the respective, listed categories of symptomatic outbreaks. In view of the apparent dicey nature of economic conditions, we have, empathically, prescribed only generic products and low- cost therapeutic activities. We would emphasize that the following therapeutic prescriptions and recommended acts of therapy, [as tailored to the applicable category of the listed symptoms], are merely analgesic; a protocol designed to achieve actual cure is specified at the conclusion of this note.
*SYMPTOMS & ANALGESICS: [ General caution! Do not exceed recommended dose, without prior physician approval and personal supervision]
*DENIAL OF CLIMATE CHANGE: hot beverages, multi- vitamins, orange juice, broccoli, chicken soup, all ingested while simultaneously, wearing woolen gloves, scarf and woolen hat. dosage: 2x per diem, morning and evening.
*DENIAL OF WOMEN’S RIGHT TO CHOOSE: warm bath, aroma candles, chilled chablis, olives and liver pate simultaneously enjoyed while dart throwing at a Phyllis Schafly dart board. dosage:once daily on retirement
*ANTI-CONTRACEPTIVE EDUCATION: (for two participants), nude scrabble games,vodka, dark chocolate bars, loud country music; followed by listening to taped Evangelical Sermon. dosage: 2x per diem.
*ANTI-IMMIGRATION POLICIES: 2 plates of over- cooked rice and beans, salsa music, cold cervesa, darts- Mike Pence dartboard , clean baseball cap , new T-shirts. dosage: 2x per diem.
*ILLICIT FRIENDSHIP WITH PUTIN: hot bowl of cabbage borscht, cold glass of vodka, James Bond Movie, manly arrest game with bare chest and toy handcuffs. dosage: 2x per diem (not for women).
*PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX: orange pajamas, cold oatmeal (2 bowls), cherry jello, harmonica music, black and white film on sexual diseases, checkers, knock-hockey, or ping-pong: dosage: 1x out of doors, every third day.
*PRESIDENTIAL MENDACITY: Read Pinocchio aloud 2x, watch Fox News , at least 30 min., repeat New Year’s weigh loss resolutions again, select duct tape color. dosage: hourly.
*PRESIDENTIAL ATTACKS ON MEDIA: Read complete N.Y. Times or Wash. Post, cover to cover, delete all statements and pictures of Trump and/or Cabinet Member’s and their statements, with black grease pencil, line garbage can with completed newspapers, sing the words, “fake news” for 10 min. dosage: 2x per diem.
*GOVERNMENT LEAKS, also, WIKI LEAKS: Many regular followers of current events, frustrated with an uncomfortable plethora of “leaking,” governmental, or otherwise, report favorable results with the use of “Depends” or “Assurance” products. dosage: daily, as needed.
MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: The limited, but dedicated, purpose in the dissemination of this prescriptive note, is to mitigate the degree of discomfort in our readers’ reactions to the current, (and irrational) news of the day. We have previously made it clear, that the therapeutic procedures set forth, above, are prescribed only for temporary, palliative relief . [You are invited to again consult the specific language of the above disclaimer].
CURE: For the complete and permanent elimination of such uncomfortable reactive symptoms, one is advised to expend his next precious vote only following his own, independent conduct of a sufficiently informed and considered judgmental process.