Post # 616 (2nd ) Reply, PAM EDEMIC TO ELVIRA SWINE [“Neighbors”]

El Paso, Texas

Dear Elvira:

It was so good to hear from you again and to know that you and all of the Swines are well and doing good. Abel and I were sorry to hear about Rev. Snarl’s worsened hemorrhoids that caused his retirement and replacement by Rev. Mishak Abendigo with the bad hiccup and lisp. But I am sure that the congregation will get used to his style and Fred will still be able to sleep just as well during sermons.

Our cross-the-road neighbors, Reggie and Serena Salpeter are very nice but different. I forgot to tell you last time that when we first arrived at our new house, we found a white-flowered dish with two dozen butter cookies on the kitchen table from Serena Salpeter to welcome us. Her Reggie works for a large well-digging company and Serena, in addition to taking care of their two children plus Barnaby, their smelly pet goat, also works at the plant for the El Paso Water Company, as part time official taster. Yesterday, their naughty pet goat Barnaby took it into his head to eat up all her yellow primroses and some of their next-door neighbor’s Shasta daisies. She will just have to keep that Barnaby on a stronger leash. The two sons are Jason T. and Mason J. Salpeter. Reggie does the family cooking, due to the fact that the only things Serena says she does passably well, are American cheese omelets, fruited dry cereal and butter cookies (like the three dozen we found in the kitchen when we first arrived).

 Strange, I am puzzled about what church they attend because I always see them every weekend, in jeans, outside on their lawn, mowing the grass, watering, or chasing after Barnaby and when it is nice weather, snoozing on their camp chairs or, when rainy, their large screened-in porch. The two Salpeter sons both belong to the City of El Paso chapter of the Boy Scouts and the local Little League, so we almost never see them. But they seem very friendly and respectful when you do see them.

I would like to write some more but it smells out here on the porch like my new batch of butter cookies are burning.

Best wishes and stay safe,


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Retired from the practice of law'; former Editor in Chief of Law Review; Phi Beta Kappa; Poet. Essayist Literature Student and enthusiast.

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