At the Annual Fall Shareholders Meeting of the Silicon Valley computer research and sales corporation, “Wistful Future Development Co., Inc”. the President and CEO, Ingersall Ira (“i.. P,”) Daly, proudly announced the successful completion of a company-owned, newly developed algorithm, applicable to the entire universe of television viewers, to be licensed worldwide and predictably destined to be ,immensely profitable.
The Chairman explained that after three years of intensive research and tireless digital experimentation, its junior computer engineer, Vladimir G. Borscht, a recent immigrant from Belarus (and the third son of a famous Russian Chef), had successfully created a new and innovative algorithm, affording television viewers the revolutionary ability to experience the ambient odors of watched televised films or public events. The new facility, he continued, will be equipped with responsive adjustments, {“Apps”) flexibly adjustable, relative to the viewers’ nuanced olfactory sensitivities, tastes, or extant allergies. The jubilant Chief Executive announced that this miraculous program will bear the international brand name, “Smellovision.”
Within six months of its production and initial sale, the innovative program proved to be in universal demand by the television industry, demonstrating ratings far beyond any previous optimistic predictions. The new olfactory capability was so successful in its application to television commercials, notably, pizza, colognes, cosmetics, deodorants, air fresheners, shampoos, soaps, and condiments, that the corporation was literally swamped with urgent requests for licenses for the new app. The profits of this new facility were enormous and growing in exponential figures. Mr. Vladimir G. Borscht, now a celebrity whose name was suitably changed to
“Val G. Bush “was promoted to Vice President of the Corporation’s new Smellivision subsidiary and given Common Stock in the Parent Corporation.
Thereafter, the television consumer, for a modest annual fee, was treated to an enhanced sense of realism, thereby enhancing his movie viewing experience. The adjustable scent of the movie’s particular ambience, such as the smell of “curry” during Indian films, “garlic during movies dealing with the Italian Mafia, “gunpowder” during Clint Eastwood’s Spaghetti Westerns, “beer” in saloon scenes, ” fresh chocolate” while watching Willie Wonka, now had the franchise of personal choice of scent, as desired, as well as movie narrative. Needless to say, the demonstrative appeal of a fragrant consumer product boosted commercial sales in exponential volumes.
The New York Stock Market price for Wistful Vista Common Stock rose in proportion to its ever-increasing sales and profitability. Incidentally, we are pleased to report that the new millionaire, Vladimir G. Borscht ( now, “Val G. Bush”), was married to the granddaughter of the Board, the beautiful Kysme Daly, and, at the time of this writing, the happy couple had been blessed with two children, a daughter and a son, “Rose” and “Woody” Bush.
Life was happy for the new family, whose mutual love and good fortune were ideal, until a tragic event occurred. Val was in one of the corporation’s television studios when an official call from Washington was announced. It was the imperious, Eichmann-like Advisor to the President, Stephen Miller, himself, who advised Val that Donald Trump does not like the hamburger commercials and directed their removal. Miller smilingly continued, “And if you do not comply, I will have you deported back to Belarus, and at least one of your children will be banished to El Salvador.” Val was rendered into a state of shock and extreme fear and hung up the telephone.
By chance, the menacing telephone interaction was mechanically captured on a nearby open television camera and inadvertently broadcast to the public. Within minutes, the telephones in the White House were besieged with hundreds of protesting calls from Smellovision customers, private and commercial. The cruel threat delivered by the sadistically smiling Stephen Miller was summarily withdrawn with Jimmy Kimmel speed. Anecdotally, the automatic television recording of the cogent Miller admonition was seldom viewed by television consumers for both aesthetic and, equally, odiferous reasons.
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