The Greek myth concerning Pandora’s Box, warns that its opening will result in ubiquitous misfortune and tragedy. In contemporary times, the admonition is expressed as “Opening a Can of Worms.” This writing is focused on analogically disclosing the terrifying contents of the abominable box and implication of its abhorrent consequences.
[NARRATIVE]
DISCOVERY AND LATER DEVOLUTION :
We have been reliably informed that the internationally esteemed archeologist, Sr. Selwin Puddle, of the University of Devonshire, Balderdash South Devon, England, on October 1, 1936, accidentally uncovered the archaic box, which was incorrectly thought to be merely “mythical.” On one of his regular archeological digs, outside the legal City limits of the Greek province of North Mousaaka, he felt his spade make contact with a large, earthy bronze container. After unearthing the strange box, he carefully brushed off the dry clumps of soil, he discerned a warning, in the ancient Greek language,” which translates to “Hazmat Warning,” below which in block letters, ” Pandora’s Box” Not to be Opened,.”
Dr. Puddle, breathlessly returned with his find to his field office, After fearfully staring at it for approximately one-half hour his didactic curiosity impulsively overcame his pragmatic caution and compelled him to courageously open and examine the contents of the ancient legendary box.
The dimension of the box, itself, was twenty-four square inches, with an ornate top lid, containing the above cautionary message. Opening (with much difficulty) the lid he was astounded to observe that the box was entirely empty, except for a decorative hand mirror, the latter, approximately 14 inches in length and 6 inches in width. A breathless initial examination revealed a decorative, gold-colored frame, which at its top, contained a carved image of a corpulent, orange-haired golfer wearing a red cap with white letters too small to discern. To his surprise, the venerable professor made the bizarre discovery, that the ornate mirror was a fun-house-style mirror which, upon examination revealed an entirely distorted and eerily skewed image with a center showing a barely visible replication of a laughing face reflected at its center.
VOYAGE OF PANDORA’S BOX
To radically condense the events of upwards of eight decades since its discovery, the infamous box found its way from England’s Balderdash University to London’s British Museum and later, as part of a cultural exchange, to Washington’s famous Smithsonian Museum. At the said institution, it was eventually relegated to storage due to public lack of interest and by a museum volunteer’s error, included among the numerous inventory of a public auction sale to raise needed capital.
The mysterious box eventually made its way to the posh Florida resort of Mar-a-Lago, as a gift, from one of the past wives of Donald Trump and was ultimately placed in the same large restroom where hr had famously arranged for the storage of stolen government top-secret documents. Only recently Melania, amused at its weird carnival mirror reflective distortion and noting a figure resembling Donald on the carved frame, removed it to the Master bedroom for decorative purposes.
It was barely two weeks ago when Donald, footsore and sweaty from a full morning of golf, and his regular international telephone conversation with Vladimir Putin, flopped down on the silk cover of his expensively decorated bed in the master bedroom, still chewing and holding on to a half-eaten, greasy McDonald’s hamburger and inwardly celebrating his election victory. He noticed the wooden (Pandora’s) box and after another large, ketchup-dripping bite of the hamburger, wearily bemoaned his obligation to now select a Presidential Cabinet. Trump looked into the shiny, but, distorted mirror and happily found requisite inspiration for his choices of Cabinet for his new Presidential term, An incomplete but representative list is as follows:
* United States Attorney General (Head of FBI, ATF, Fed, Dist, Attys, Matt Gaetz [ under investigation for sexual crimes, Statutory Rape, Sex Trafficking and drug offenses]
*Secretary of Defense (Armed Forces, Pentagon) Pete Hogeth,[Pro-Trump Fox News Host and celebrated White Supremacist]
*Health and Human Services JFK Jr, [Anti-vaccine proponent, dumper of a dead bear in New York’s Central Park bear; anti-modern medicine, conspiracy hawk, diagnosed with a worm in his brain]
*Deputy Chief of Staff: Stephen Miller, the [arrogant, cruel, psychopathic proponent of the inhuman separation of immigrant families and inveterate lunatic xenophobic]
*Kristie Noem: “Homeland Security:” [ Avid Trumpist and infamous murderer of slow learning dog]
*Doug Bergam; [ Proponent of the Earth Warming meme, “Drill, baby Drill!” despite the present context of universal public fear concerning the augmentation of global warming by -polluting fuels]
- Mike Huckabee:, as Ambassador to Isreal, [ A Christian Evangelic extremist, believing in the tactical preservation of the State of Isreal for the sole purpose of apocryphal, “Second Coming.”
- Tom Horman: Immigration Czar: [ Principled opponent of immigration, who has promised ” the biggest mass deportation ever seen.”]
- Tulsi Gabbard: “Director of Intelligence” [a fan of Russia and an extremely dubious choice for an inveterate isolationist].
CONCLUSION:
It is our observation that the underlying proximate cause of the peril we now suffer, symbolized by “Pandora’s box” relates to the atavistic mindset of the extensive voting public credited with the imposition of a notable mortal hazard to the existence of our Democratic Republic by their election of Donald Trump. The existential danger to our Democratic Republic is effectively and alarmingly more ubiquitously inclusive and existentially damaging than the sample of the ill-conceived, “Mad Hatter” style of Trump’s newly proposed National Cabinet, as illustrated.
The pathetically sophomoric fantasy of the MAGA voters, disappointed with the nature of the (self-imposed) quality of their lives, elected an especially an unhinged and irrational rebel against the established societal mores of the Nation would portend an amelioration of their respective grievances, can only be the empirical result of a distortion of mindset and perception, derived from staring into the reality distorting, funhouse mirror, secreted in our analogical Pandora’s box.
-p.
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