As soon as Samantha Epicac woke up, as was her daily habit, she checked her phone for messages and proceeded, directly and excitedly, to her specially programmed television set. The latter had been uniquely and expertly programmed, following her wishes by a friend with a degree in Computer Science, to entirely eliminate all news, sports, movie, and informational programs; in fact, all programs save the cosmetics, exercise, and fashion presentations. When asked by an acquaintance about her delimited choice, she curtly replied, “Because the deleted “apps” feature matters totally irrelevant to my personal interest and vital concerns and, definitely outside of my control.
Samantha, when asked about her limited interest would, in a forensic manner declare,” I have been given only one life to live and I am obliged by necessity to protect and nurture that one life and defensively preserve and protect my youthful and appearance, in responsible opposition to the negative and unattractive process of aging, After all, what has Ukraine or Trump have to do with wrinkles, dry, creping skin, and sagging chin? I am confident that a sufficient number of television viewers exist, content with wasting their precious time, by viewing all sorts of matters, inarguably beyond their control and totally irrelevant to their personal needs.
After brushing and carefully flossing her teeth, examining her smile for any errant traces of yellow, she recalled with a start, that it was 8:45 on Sunday morning and that at 10:30 she had a blind date for brunch with a young man named, Algernon Cronkite. The date had been arranged by her best friend, Ophelia Wart. Samantha judicially selected a light-colored, sporty outfit, arranged her hair, eye shadow, and facial makeup in a dedicated effort to present her 36-year-old persona in its youngest and most enticing aspect.
As arranged, Samantha met “Algy” at a nearby posh restaurant for their 10:30 A.M. brunch date. Samantha was excited by his handsome appearance, slim, youthful, fashionable eyeglasses, tweed jacket, and remarkably clear and dulcet speech. Concerning the latter characteristic, in reply to Samanthga’s praise, Algy explained that he was a television host on a major televised news program.
After ordering their food, Algy, in an attempt to discern his new acquaintance’s personality and foundational beliefs, asked her general questions relating to his personally familiar topic, current news events. Various such attempts on subjects such as, Israel-Hamas, Ukraine, Presidential preference, and global warming were met with non-committa comments such as, “It is a tough problem,” or “You don’t say?” or, alternatively, silence, After the passage of an uncomfortable fifteen minutes, Samantha, providentially recalling that Algy was a television broadcaster, earnestly posed the following question: In your professional opinion, is the sales commercial for anti-crepe skin cream, featuring Jane Seymour, an effective product? Algernon, as if stricken with a bolt of errant lightning, immediately, muttered, arose from the table and determinatively, marched out of the restaurant
Samantha loudly declared, “What the hell is the matter with him?
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